tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25804525532617606932024-03-18T09:11:29.690+00:00Stella Deleuze rants and other topicsOn green iguanas, cycling, gardening, easy recipes, and other things I encounter. Warning: I rant a lot. Handle with care.Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.comBlogger415125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-77273315424489389762014-07-05T14:05:00.000+01:002014-07-05T14:05:14.443+01:00Stop moaning; just be honest with yourself!
Blimey! It's been a long time since I last posted on here. Do I have to apologise? No, I don't think I have to; mainly because I'm not sorry. Isn't blogging all about saying what you want whenever you want? To be honest I didn't feel like ranting about anything much, really. Instead I've been busy working on bikes, building wheels, you know, being a mechanic--something that makes me very, veryStellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-57307133435437158142014-04-20T17:15:00.000+01:002014-04-20T17:15:31.623+01:00Oh, go on then, have a nibble!
Or two. Or many, and then wash it down with bottles of wine, or cans of lager. As you probably know, in December 2012, I've looked in the mirror, in front of which I'd stiffly waddled in my my stand-in-only jeans and my reflection stared back at me in disgust. Yep, I'd got far too fat for my own liking and my tight trousers--all of those I owned--had become far too uncomfortable. I've always Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-51852462937068346022014-03-10T21:46:00.000+00:002014-03-10T21:46:40.274+00:00Ouch!
That's how I feel as I type. Just recently I said that it's been a while since the iguana bit me and how sweet he's been, but that I have to be on my guard at all times. Today, I was a bit too cocky and promptly paid the price. Although I admit it was my own fault and Zorro was just telling me he didn't like my 'rough' playful treatment. Fair enough. I now he likes a bit of playing, but on his Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-24723133740077055562014-03-09T21:28:00.001+00:002014-03-09T21:28:43.961+00:00The incomprehensive absense of happiness
My happiness, that is. I've been feeling pretty low of late, literally off-balance, and I'm struggling with piecing myself back together. Okay, admittedly, I haven't been happy--I mean really happy in months, but I think it's got more to do with my constantly anticipating the big whack over the head. Yes, I may be even scared of being happy, because up to now I've always been pulled down so Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-81928027783519075942014-03-06T20:30:00.000+00:002014-03-06T20:32:33.945+00:00Help, a dragon's on the loose!
In my flat! I had to take care of some online business and the sun was literally pouring into my living room, so I let Zorro roam around a bit. He loves exploring and, as mating season seems to approach, gets a little unsettled in his own house. It's also a good opportunity to take some new pictures post them. He's grown so much and is beautiful to look at with his orange-coloured legs and Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-15444473434373419032014-02-17T20:15:00.001+00:002014-02-17T20:17:35.190+00:00A year is 28cm
or 11 inches. That's the combined number of cm lost around my belly, arse, and legs. I'd started--sort of--in December 2012, with going for easy walks in the snow and eating a bit more controlled, but the what I called 'exercise regime' started in January last year. I'd got into the habit of floor exercises to whip my abs into shape and wake some of the other muscles from their slumber. Luckily,Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-88781730678995790302014-02-16T21:48:00.000+00:002014-02-16T21:48:23.215+00:00Restless, my ADHD is getting the better of me
I haven't cycled properly for a few days; first it was just miserable out there, windy, cold, rainy, then I got ill and didn't even feel like getting up. Today, though, I felt a tad better and the sun made a proper appearance, beckoning me to come and play. I decided to go for a nice and easy ride with a member of my cycling club and we went through the city, enjoying the weather. When we cameStellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-15222312240291673332014-02-15T17:59:00.000+00:002014-02-15T17:59:15.929+00:00What's wrong with you people?
I'm ill--a strange combination of flu and cold, which had me sleeping, sneezing, coughing, and whinging all day yesterday and, although I think I still have a fever today, I felt much better and braved a cycling trip to Dalston. A mistake, by the looks of it, as I'm having shivers again. Just great. Being ill ain't all that nice, and I can't go for a ride, therefore I'm a foul mood. Originally, Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-74776303005761539312014-02-11T20:17:00.004+00:002014-02-11T20:18:28.874+00:00Some expressions are better than others
I think I shocked the world today. Okay, not the whole world, but definitely the world surrounding me. Everyone who knows me is aware of my not being keen on children. Never have been, never will be, hence my decision not to have them. In case you're thinking I'll change my mind once I'll meet the right guy (often cited argument when I won't budge from my opinion; trying to convince me that I'llStellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-79914044645309632682014-02-09T14:38:00.003+00:002014-02-09T14:40:39.265+00:00I got pranked!
My beloved red Viscount
And I wasn't amused. At all. Despite my normally sunny nature and good sense of humour, I seem to have left my ability to laugh at home when I visited my local bike shop before I went for a ride. Okay, I had a bone to pick with them and basically went in and straight for the throats, which had them in stitches. It appears I'd also left my expression 'I mean business' Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-87205519771032894362014-01-20T21:07:00.000+00:002014-01-20T21:07:13.049+00:00You should drink water!
Very brief next installment. Some things happened that kept me from writing. When I'm not in the right head-space it's impossible to step into the scene and write. It's been days since I actually wrote something at all. I'm not stressing, just a bit concerned that I may lose the connection. I'm again worrying that I may not have enough material, or that what I've planned might not work out. I Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-28950100505338813842014-01-19T18:08:00.000+00:002014-01-19T18:11:02.949+00:00The hidden world of living with ADHD
You say your quiet
goodbyes, turn on your heel, and leave, hoping nobody saw the hurt
surging through you, carried by the self-hatred, fed by a recurring
feeling of helplessness.
Belonging; all you wish
for.
Acceptance; have you
ever been?Love: how does it feel?
How many times more can you take this? You carry on walking, holding
your head up high; anything to hide the tears, Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-62163336461673995352014-01-15T21:34:00.000+00:002014-01-15T21:34:53.410+00:00Back to exercising!
Fruit basket
Since I've successfully hit my goal of losing 10kg in in the first five month of 2013, I though I could get back to it and lose the next 10kg--also by May. Fortunately, I'm proof for if you 'do it the correct way' you don't put it all back on again; nothing worse than jojo-dieting. Dieting in general is shite, so, don't try it at home, kids.
As you may remember, I did a lot of 'Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-78558910917043033172014-01-10T22:05:00.000+00:002014-01-10T22:05:00.013+00:00The next installment, sorry for the long wait
I've been busy with my mind in hundreds of different places, in addition to not finding the necessary quiet to write. I'd opened the doc a few times, but closed it again when inspiration didn't strike. It happens. I'm worried I may lose interest and give up. Then again, I have Mr Obnoxious who's a great character who gives me plenty of material, plus Elaine, who has to heal at some point. And Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-44297546564370887762014-01-02T23:24:00.002+00:002014-01-02T23:24:17.333+00:00A short next installment
I think this reflects on my creative process. Admittedly, the bit I posted yesterday was the result of two days. When I started writing today I wasn't sure what I'd come up with, because there's always this blank spot ahead of me. I know Elaine is on her walk, pondering, wondering, and hurting. And I quite liked where it was going, but it's difficult to get into the same frame of mind the next Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-21926135577167128232014-01-01T20:11:00.005+00:002014-01-01T21:33:21.927+00:00Next installment after a break
Previously: It's Christmas day and Elaine, although apprehensive, joins the merry happenings at breakfast. She was seated with three guys and, sensing her sadness, but not knowing why, they try to keep her occupied. Remember this is an unedited first draft. I've now reached exactly 11.111 words. It's still a mammoth task I've got ahead of me, but if I write a little every day, I guess the novel Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-81517556513682666432014-01-01T16:13:00.002+00:002014-01-01T16:13:38.763+00:00Fajita wraps for a lazy 1st of January 2014
I admit I had flirted with them yesterday night, but was able to keep my hands off them. For weeks I was craving my home made fajitas and finally gave in. It's not only a delicious treat, it's also rather good to keep and re-heat the next day.
There are many recipes, but this one has been tried and tested by myself and on various friends, who were all gobbling up the food quickly, and licking Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-39253337914201673632013-12-31T13:12:00.000+00:002013-12-31T13:14:51.833+00:002014 and onwards shall be filled with happiness
This year has been a mixed bag again. Until May it was utter shite, then I discovered the joy of bicycle mechanics and that changed everything. Well, not everything, but a lot. I know now that it's the way forward; it's what I want to do for a living and I've headed straight for that goal. I worked (on a voluntary basis in exchange for getting my bikes done) to gain experience and did the LevelStellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-54050669907409527132013-12-26T22:35:00.000+00:002013-12-26T22:35:18.002+00:00A croissant makes you smile
Without further ado, here's the next installment of my WIP:
After
a restless night, thanks to dreams that had me awaking with a gasp
twice, but not remembering what they were about, and a slightly too
hard mattress, I pulled the curtains open and was delighted to see
only a few clouds lazily moving across the blue sky. Yet again, a
wonderful day, and perfect for a run before breakfast. It Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-44558053341106831552013-12-24T21:48:00.000+00:002013-12-24T22:09:26.432+00:00Ever heard of personal space?
My day was rather shite if I'm honest. I've come to the conclusion that my landlord is a bully who seems to be used to people jumping at a flick of his finger. After a massive argument on the phone I went to Noah's shop in order to get some inner and outer cables for my bike in progress. The cycling did wonders, so did quickly jumping in when a customer popped by to get a last-minute present forStellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-61604450018254280202013-12-22T22:34:00.001+00:002013-12-23T18:36:04.317+00:00Crazy cyclist in Witchurch
It's difficult to find the moments without distraction for writing. I've had troubles with my downstairs neighbours' two young children running from room to room, shouting and stomping for hours, which isn't really the best atmosphere for creativity. A friendly chat didn't change anything either, apart from a nice and warm friendly hello changing to a rather frosty nod. As soon as Christmas is Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-46933507199603457422013-12-20T18:07:00.000+00:002013-12-22T19:40:19.470+00:00I think I'd like to be Elaine this year
And here's the next section. It's the 24th and Elaine has arrived at the B&B. Remember, it's a first draft and will most likely be slightly amended and additional details added, but so far, you get the picture of where and how she is. I think there's a good opportunity for me to fill some pages; ideas are already firing, but nothing too concrete. I know, though, that there will be a person Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-90222689114771864182013-12-18T20:06:00.001+00:002013-12-20T13:32:55.181+00:00Backwards progress
I'm in panic. I still haven't made the 10k-mark, which is rare when I'm starting a novel. I also find it's moving too fast, but I could be wrong. Because I only write so little each day, I lose connection to what I've written before. But I don't want to read it all over again, as I'll get easily fed up. I'm assuming that I'll have to flesh the beginning out a bit. I'd planned to have Elaine Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-38214381700599699632013-12-15T20:12:00.000+00:002013-12-15T20:15:12.396+00:00I went too far ...
... ahead, that is. As I was trying to see what's at the horizon for Elaine, I had an idea yesterday night. Unfortunately I didn't feel like writing it, as it was just a seed, growing in my mind. Today, I wanted to find out how it would translate into words and typed it but, somehow, it bugged me: the scene I'd written felt wrong at this point of the book. However, it was perfect for the next Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2580452553261760693.post-82473601442117197812013-12-14T22:10:00.001+00:002013-12-15T12:25:30.991+00:00I'm Elaine
Of course I'm not. Unlike her, I've been spared the pain of losing my soul mate. I can't imagine how it must feel. Not one bit. On the other side, as a writer, creating a character who finds herself in exactly that situation, I have to put myself into her shoes and feel the pain, see through her eyes. It's not an easy task, but since I'm what others call an empathic person, I think I'm heading Stellahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13356640334979836289noreply@blogger.com0