Like it or not, I do what I want

I'm talking about my novel. When I told my friend about my original concept for the thriller, she screamed, 'No, you can't do that. I hate it! It's like having a character wake up from a dream!'
If there's one rule, then it is to not mess with a reader, if they feel cheated, they will be unhappy. 
To be honest, I can't remember the exact plans I had, but I'm sure it involved my character writing a book in which she basically tortured and killed off the characters, and in the end, she'd put the pen down and smile. I found it rather suitable, since it's basically what I'm doing and the characters won't suffer any less. Just that it's a book in a book. I had a really good brain storming session with someone yesterday, who wasn't sure about the idea either. Yet, the more I think about it, the more I love it. And the way I'm doing it, means the reader knows exactly what's going on, like in Inception, which was a massive hit. If well done, the reader will quickly be in the story and only be reminded at the very end.


When my friend rejected my concept, it shot a massive hole in my creativity and I couldn't write for weeks. Things like that, you know? My problem was how to integrate the first character, which is the real heroine, but takes a backseat after the prologue and doesn't appear anymore until the very end. I have thought back and forth and whatnot to find a solution to that problem, but to no avail. I can be stubborn as mule when it comes to concepts and plotting. Once I fall in love with something, it's hard to convince me otherwise. The fact that I struggled so much means I had doubts, but not anymore. I like breaking the rules. If someone says you can't do that, I'm all the more determined to do it, but to do it effectively.

I want that the reader is sucked into the story and forget that it's just a book in the book, and feels for the three MCs who'll go through hell and never come back. Since it's my revenge on my former neighbours, I can't save any of them. Normally you'd have the good win over the bad in a thriller, wouldn't you? Which means, they would need to survive, maybe be better people after that experience. But I don't want that. I want them dead! Oh, nasty me. I want that Karma hits them hard, which, in that novel, it does. I'll also leave the ending open and a bit mysterious, so the reader can decide if it really happened or not.

After breaking through that beast of a brick wall, I'm much  more confident finishing the novel until the 31st of July. 15k to go and that hopefully all guns blazing.

Wish me luck. :-)

Confessions of a self-published author

I'm talking about publishing my novel Candlelight Sinner with errors. Maybe fifty all together, typos, missing words, missing speech marks, extra speech marks. Okay, fifty errors in an 80k novel may not seem much, but I find it almost unbearably embarrassing. After a lovely friend helped me with my Germish and with that having the awkward phrasing out of the way, I decided to proof the book myself on the Kindle as I normally spot those errors easily. I know, it's said everywhere, but I wanted to show I can do it. Look where it got me. Stupid, really. Although one can overlook those errors if they don't distract from the story, the vast amount alone makes me cringe. Luckily, I have found a wonderful proof reader for the future whom I've tested and who knows what is expected.
Self-publishing has been a trial and error experience; overall, I'd say, a really positive one, apart from my being rather tired of promoting and hence not doing much of it anymore. I'm almost sure that I've lost sales due to the errors in the books, for which I could kick myself, really. Despite receiving great reviews for all three books, I'm sure I could have sold more if it wasn't for the errors.
As you know I'm writing on a Thriller, which will be published under a different pen name some time this year, a clean slate for that book, if you will. I don't do it because of that, but it would be nice to have a book judged on its merit, without anyone knowing about the author; it's an experiment and if it goes well, I may publish some more, completely different books -- thriller, horror, sci-fi, etc. -- under that name. All of which will be properly proofed.
But I'll also bring out another book as Stella Deleuze this year. And my aim is to have it error free. I'll not make the mistake again to proof my own book. From what I've learned, errors occur when you rewrite, swap scenes around, add, delete. That's when a manuscript is the most prone to get messy. Best advice is to let it rest for a few weeks and go through it again. Slowly, then, when you're done, either get a professional to work on it, or someone you trust. I've noticed that I've added errors when correcting what the proof reader sent. So that's a fault on my part. Not sure how I'll deal with that in future, but I'll find a solution. No book of mine shall contain more than a few errors in future. Best would be to have zero, but you can't even guarantee that with a professional proof reader.
Please do me only one favour: do not say that you find errors in traditionally published books; just because there is the odd book which contains errors, doesn't make it right. :-)

PS: I've corrected mine. (Thank you, Sandra.x)

Male green iguanas and female owners

Yes, Zorro is in mating season again, but, compared to the last two years, he's reasonably calm. I can't even tell you how happy that makes me. Although he is very aggressive towards me and tries to sink his teeth into my flesh, I can deal with that. Sort of. Touching him is out of question, or only if he really is generous and lets me. He's not eating, only bits of banana, a few leaves of rocket or some blueberries, which is normal for mating season. I have also covered the glass with bubble wrap, so if he jumps against the window, it'll help prevent him getting a bleeding and swollen snout. A typical injury in iguanas during mating season and all too often ends up needing a visit to the vet and antibiotics. So far, it's working just fine. he only bumped his nose a couple of times and that was when he tore the bubble wrap down. It just can't withstand sharp claws and 6kg hanging on it. My observations show that his being calmer might have to do with my being not as stressed as I was the last two years. The situation with my upstairs neighbours had me so cornered, that I didn't have any opportunity to relax. Since I've move house, the iguana seems to pick up on my vibes. Interesting, isn't it? They are rather perceptive.
Those of you who read last year's entries regarding Zorro being in mating season will remember that I wanted to have him a hormone implant, but that needs to be done well before they get into season. Somehow, I had the feeling he started a bit earlier than expected so I missed having it done. Since he's 'fine' I think it may not have been too bad. I don't like messing with his hormones and would only do it if both of us are in danger, which we were last year, but if he remains as he is now in future, I'd be more than happy to deal with a grumpy iguana. What's new anyway? :-)

That said, I'm really glad to have wooden flooring as he recently, when I had him out to clean his vivarium, attacked me. If that would have been on carpet, I'd have stitches in my shin right now. He just shot forwards in order to bite me and his powerful jaw and strong teeth would easily be able to take a piece out of my leg/arm or wherever he manages to get me. They sometimes, will bite into something and shake their heads violently. If that's tender human flesh, it'll result in a blood bath.
However, I was a lucky girl and locked him away in the bedroom for the time being. If you have a female with an iguana in mating season, you have to watch your back. They are smart and sneaky; the moment you don't look, you'll make yourself a target.

Cheeky, innit? I still wouldn't change him for the world. Look at him being pulled out of his sleep. I tried to remove the shed skin on his horn on the nose while he slept. He opened his eye only that bit. I left him in peace and he immediately fell asleep again.

From seed to the plate

Our roof garden has come a long way and with it us people who look after it. It was and still is a matter of trial and error, as we have to fight with harder conditions: grow bags, wind and the roof. But nevertheless, it's
full of wonderful colours: red strawberries, black currants, yellow courgette flowers, green chard, purple turnips, lettuce ranging from light green to dark red, orange nasturtium, light blue borage flowers, blood-orange bean flowers, etc. I could go on. It's just wonderful to step in the garden and see how everything's growing. We will certainly have plenty of courgettes and tomatoes, and the snow peas should be ready to be harvested soon. Like last year, I basically take something home every time when I finish with a little session. Yesterday, I picked plenty of lettuce and chives and will have it for dinner today. The garlic we planted in October seems to be ready, too. My whole kitchen smells of it now, and I haven't even cooked with it.
Since the tomatoes (bush and cordans) are flowering and some of them have even fruit already, they need feeding every week. All of them are from organic seeds and home grown. Can't wait to have a tomato mozzarella salad with our own basil.
The snow peas didn't take too long, and they are delicious in a home made Thai green curry or stir fry. I love using the produce we grow, in the end, that's what the garden's for. Of course, also for the community and learning, but the end product is food. I can't even believe how much I've learned in the past year; even though I grew up with allotments, I only remember planting some carrots and potatoes and harvesting lettuce. I had no idea how to look after the plants. And that is fun, too. There's always something to do, weeding, harvesting, sewing, pruning, and not to forget: having tea and biscuits. :-)
We also have some chamomile and I picked some flowered to make tea with them. Yes, I know I'm weird. I drink almost every herb tea there is.

Unfortunately, we have some disease in the herb bed, which I'm not too happy about. We aren't 100% sure what it may be, but the leaves of the mint and lemon balm were all sprinkled with white. So I did what I do best and gave it a really good hair cut. It's growing back looking a lot healthier, but there are still a few affected bits which I just cut back again. It all started with the sage being covered in what might have been mildew. And the thyme and rosemary is dying off, so we are trying to fight what looks like the red spider mite. Again we're not 100% sure. When you shake it, little flies come out of it.
Where it came from and how it started, is unclear. It was all perfectly healthy last year.. I'll keep you posted.

Tip of the week: how to react to negative reviews

Yes, I know, it's been done to death and I thought that everyone got the message after the Howett incident, but I seem to be wrong. I recently read a blog post giving some advice that had me fuming. Massively. The self-published author, who had obviously been spoiled by positive reviews (I assume by his friends), started to receive negative ones saying the story is unbelievable, characters not likeable, etc. So what did he do? He thought to himself that writing an article about the 'how to' would be a great idea. Yes, I agree, it is, but only if the 'how to' contains the following: be professional about it and take it on the chin.

Of course he didn't do that. No. He advised to look up your favourite authors' books and feel comforted when reading all the 1-star-reviews. Whereas it doesn't do any harm, it's pointless, because it doesn't make your book better, does it?
I won't repeat all the points, but stress the two that made me want to slap him. Hard. Very hard.
1.) He advised to get your mates to downvote the negative reviews and
2.) to ask as many friends as possible, who are confident to write a 5-star-review and, yes, you guessed it, get them to post them.
I honestly couldn't believe my eyes. Not only is this particularly immature, but also highly frowned upon, and that rightly so.

Needless to say that it didn't take long until he got his wrists slapped by fellow authors and readers who weren't too impressed with such advice. Serious self-published authors have enough difficulties without those who pull such stunts. People like that want to play professional in the professional league, but are still in kindergarten.
Now, I'm not so much concerned about people being vocal about it, they'll be put in their places in no time, but I'm worried about those who just go ahead and do it. Fair play to this particular author, though, he has amended that post. If he's also altered his way of thinking, I don't know.

I'd keep it simple: if you receive a negative review, rise above it. Not everyone will love or like your book. If you receive more or them, all pointing out the same issue, stop huffing and puffing and instead get cracking, they may be onto something.
The only response a reviewer deserves is: Thank you for taking the time to read my book.

Stop messing with the system just because you can do it. You want to be taken seriously? Then act like it!

Rant over!

Skip the ready meals; cooking is good for the soul

I'm a little miffed. Mostly because of the many ready meals you can get in the supermarkets nowadays and that people take so much advantage on them being there. If you visit my blog regularly, you'd know I'm a keen cook and enjoy my time in the kitchen. I love eating and I love to know what goes in my food. When I see all those obese people in the supermarket, their trolleys packed to the rim with ready-made food, frozen pizza and sodas, their equally fat children waddling at their side, I have to bite my tongue. It's bad enough for adults to that to themselves, but feeding children that rubbish, to me, is child abuse. I know a woman whose daughter becomes fatter and fatter. I've known her for about four years and that girl was fat already back then. The mother keeps banging on about losing weight, but every time I see her, she has some take away in her hands and her daughter is now about twice as much as she was. I'm really disgusted by that. You see, I can't stand children, but that gets to me. You are not allowed to discipline your kid, but you are allowed to slowly kill it. That's just brilliant.It seems people have lost their abilities to cook and taste buds seem to degenerate. I'm not surprised given the many parents who stuff their children's faces at fast food chains. Those kids don't even know how a tomato grows or, in even worse cases, how it looks as a whole fruit. And their parents are blissfully unaware of what they're doing to their children.
Don't get me wrong. I love a cheeseburger or chicken nuggets from the big M, but I may have that every other month as a 'treat'. You will hardly see me go and buy a ready meal as I detest them. Far too much sugar, too much salt and preservatives. Thanks, but no thanks. Okay, I have some jars in my cupboard for when I really need something quick, but they're mostly pasta sauces.
Cooking is so much fun and it's really not that difficult to be honest. Take pizza, for example: if you do it at the weekend with either family or friends, everyone can chip in. The only bit that takes a little time is the dough, because it needs to rest, but that's something you can do between cleaning the bathroom and doing some shopping. But later, everyone can choose their own topping, and you can make a massive pizza to share. And it'll taste better, too.

Today, I bought a ready meal by accident. I thought it was a marinated chicken breast, ready to barbecue, which surprised me anyway, because you can't find any great marinated meat as I used to get in Germany during the summer season. Even though I admit it was lazy. I normally do the marinades myself, too. So chicken in tomato-basil sauce sounded too nice and was perfect to go with my salad. It turned out all it needed was whacking it into the microwave. I wasn't amused. Should have looked at the label. Change of plan, I thought. The meat was already dry before I lightly heated it to put on the salad. Since I hate throwing things away, I ate it and kept the sauce to go with pasta as it isn't bad. But it has me wondering: Do people really enjoy such a meal? Where's the fun in whacking a plastic container into the microwave and toss it on a plate? I prefer to get my vegetables from the market and cook from scratch. Tomorrow, I'll have my friend around and I'll do fresh fish with a home made marinade and Thai Yasmin rice. He's often said that my food is easily of restaurant standard, something you can only achieve if you don't just open a packet. I put all my heart and soul into every meal I'm cooking, even if it's only a simple pasta sauce. Anyone who's ever eaten at my place, can confirm that. And what better compliment can you get than clean plates and happy faces?

How the opinion differs: readers' perceptions

I recently sent out Candlelight Sinner for reviews and found it interesting that, while both readers liked the book a lot, one reader prefers the sequel, the other one prefers No Wings Attached. One is more into the paranormal, one more into romance.It shows that it's all a matter of perception. Both would like to see a third book. Oh dear. :-)  But please see for yourself:

Review 1:
Candlelight Sinner is the sequel to No Wings Attached (Branded)by Stella Deleuze. The story follows 32 year old Celia who has angel powers that could be both good and bad, and Tom, an angel wish consultant. Tom and Celia are working through the issues that came up at the end of No Wings Attached and learning to be together as a couple. Celia meets someone from the bad side and he makes a bargain with her. He said he will help train her to get control over her powers if she decides to help him save his best friend, who is also Celia's long lost twin brother. By doing so Celia could lose everything she's come to gain.

The book follows the main characters from the previous book, and one or two new characters are included. Celia, Tom and the side characters are as likeable and easy to relate to as they were before and watching Tom and Celia have troubles like any normal couple in a new relationship made them even more realistic. I especially appreciated Celia's independence in this book. My favourite character in this book has to be Sam! I think I have a new crush! He has the whole sexy, bad boy trying to be good charm down to perfection! I really would like to see more of him in the future!

The book also takes us abroad to Lanzarote. This was a refreshing change and something different. Even though I've never been to Lanzarote, Stella sets the scene so it is realistic and personally I quite liked reading about somewhere I've never been before!

The issue I had with No Wings Attached was the paranormal aspect did not seem to fit in the story too well for me. However in this book this seems to have been rectified and I enjoyed the book much more. There are more action scenes in this book and because of the introduction of Sam we get more information on the "bad side" and the "good side" as well. It was really enjoyable seeing Celia gain control over her powers, finding out what she could do and seeing her gain confidence in her abilities.

This book was a book I could not put down! It made me feel a multiple of emotions, most of them good! It was a real roller coaster reading this book because it made me feel sad, happy, tearful and giggly all at the same time!

If you've never read anything by this author then I would definitely recommend reading No Wings Attached. It contains lots of information about Celia and Tom's background story, as I think that starting with this book some people may feel a bit lost. I am so looking forward to reading more from this author and I look forward to rereading Celia and Tom's story while we wait for the next instalment!

Review 2:
I was given this copy by author free for review, but as always on the basis that my opinion is honestly held, and whether paid for or free my views are not influenced by that. Integrity is important to me and gushing false reviews do neither author or reader any favours. As always my views are what I honestly feel about this book.

This is a follow up novel to No Wings Attached and continues the story of Human Celia and Supernatural wish consultant Tom. Like the first book its a paranormal romance but not heavy on vampires or werewolves, simple a flexing of some supernatural muscle at times so its suitable for all romance lovers.

Tom and Celia have been given permission from Above to be together but are on trial. Tom still has his powers limited and Celia is banned form using any of hers. They are in live but as ever the course of true love never runs smoothly - well if it did we'd be stuck for a good book wouldn't we :) Tom's new case involves a beautiful would be model who makes it clear she's interested on Tom and of course Celia's insecurities about how she's ended up with such a fantastic man and her history of being let down means there are sparks about to fly. Celia gets drawn in to a plan to rescue her brother from the dark side by a friend of his - the lovely, lovely Sam. Sam undertakes to train her in using her powers in secret and she can't let Tom know. Its secrets secrets all the way and of course a hot bed for jealousy and suspicion.

Like the first book this is well written and edited and a good length for the money, and a great way to while away a few hours. Its light-hearted and easy to read - I love an in-depth deep book but sometimes just want something light that doesn't need too much concentration but just something to enjoy without taxing the brain as to who is who and what has been happening. I compared Stella's writing to that of Sophie Kinsella in the first book and again this one has the same feel - Sophie's books are ones I turn to when I want something gentle and easy to read and amuse me. Again chapters alternate from viewpoint of both Celia and Tom so we can not only see what the results of their actions are but understand why they did things and what the other person thinks about them. I really enjoyed that part - seeing an issue form different sides makes it so much clearer to understand why characters act in the way they do.

Candlelight Sinner had times when it made me laugh, times when it made me cry and times when I could scream at Celia " you stupid woman, what the hell are you doing!!" and that is good, as it shows how "into " and involved in the characters I'd become. I don't like to feel an onlooker when reading but want to be totally immersed. Again it has some surprising turns I didn't foresee and that's good - no one wants to read a book where the plots are obvious. However I didn't enjoy this quite as much as I did the first one, it's close but somehow it didn't grip me in quite the same way. I'm not sure why though, maybe its that the first book had the charm of a new and forbidden romance perhaps, and stuff like that always gets to me? Anyway its still an excellent read, one teens and adults, paranormal and non paranormal readers can enjoy and value for money at just £2.31 for a 533kb book. There's an opening for a third book too in the way the story ends, and as we've learned more about some of the characters and how they related it would be interesting to read further stories about them.

Stars - Once again 4 stars - good story, well written and edited and value for money.