Don't mention the birthday

It's over and I'm glad for it. My birthday, that is. About a decade ago, I stopped 'celebrating' it and informed everyone that I don't want presents. Not for any particular reason, I just didn't feel like it anymore. Everyone listened. Well, almost everyone. My friend Piddi, though, had to bring me a present -- she always does, no matter how much I complain. Luckily, she knows me rather well, and therefore makes me smile when I unwrap the surprise. This year, I shocked her a little when I saw what she did for me, because I couldn't hold back the tears.

For about three years we were talking about Chinese signs, something I wanted to have to remind me every day, and since Piddi loves etching, it was worth a shot. A little too complicated as she now told me, but that didn't keep her from trying. She knew what I wanted to express and did a wonderful picture with beautiful calligraphy. Each sign has an individual meaning as well as one together and she wrote the explanation on the back. I was totally overwhelmed as knew it was something she put a lot of thought, time, love and effort into, she had learned Chinese many years ago and wanted it to be perfect. I guess I cannot tell you how much this picture means to me. When my tears started to roll and I gasped for air, she had a vague idea. It'll have a special place where I'll always see it and some day -- when bravery takes me on the hand -- I'll have it tattooed.

But don't you think it ended there. She had the 'order' to bring liquorice and plenty of it. I love that stuff and it's difficult to get some decent ones here. Oh and a chocolate bar I have failed to get in the UK, too. Add the delicious spicy truffles (her idea), job done.
However, she got a present, too. A while ago, I saw a shirt I thought would look great on Piddi, so I bought it for her as a surprise. It fit perfectly and she loved it. Plus a huge packet of Lady grey, as she can't get it in Germany. Those presents, I find, are the best: something you stumble upon and will make a dear one smile. Nothing better than packing a parcel with goodies, having a big grin on your face, knowing that it'll cause shrieks of excitement on the other end. Love it!

We had a great time despite the rain; we made the best of the situation. I love having her here, it's always a good reason to do things I normally don't do, like sitting in the sun after a beer, wine or gin tonic filled night and stuff your face with a good ol' English breakfast. Delicious. We also met up with my good friends John and Bobby as Piddi and John didn't know each other yet. As expected, they got on really well. We laughed so hard that evening, the next day our voices were gone. Not that it mattered, as we went to the theatre to see a great play which caused a lot of giggles in the back row (where we sat). Between the rain and some sunshine we went to the roof, to the Tate and even did a little cycling tour today.

Ah and something else: somehow we decided I have to do a gig as a stand-up comedian and even worked out the opening 'gag', which had us laughing for minutes. So beware, there might be a good possibility for my pestering you on stage, too.

Thumbs up for No Wings Attached

Many authors snap at reviewers if they get less favourable marks. Of course it hurts when your baby gets attacked, but it's just something you have to take on the chin. You can't please everybody and there will always be people who don't understand your book, don't like your book, are bored by it or else.
And there's the other side: people who just love it, feel touched by it, like it a lot apart from small things, etc. Readers have expectations and when they aren't met, they will articulate their opinion and they have every right to do so. Authors should just keep it shut and not argue. If they receive more negative reviews than positive, they should stop fighting back and knuckle down on honing their skills.

A kind woman -- a book worm -- is starting out as a reviewer and has just posted an assessment about No Wings Attached on Amazon and Goodreads. She was really worried about my reaction and was relieved when I told her I thought it's a lovely review. I told her not to worry about what authors think, it's for potential buyers and I'm sure her review will help a lot of customer with their decision. Those who don't like paranormal, will be more inclined to download it, for instance. But see yourself:

The story is about a 32 year old woman called Celia and an angel wish consultant called Tom. Tom has lost his angel powers from failing his last case and has been promised that he will get his powers back if he manages to successfully make Celia happy. While he is on his mission to make her happy both Tom and Celia fall for each other. Despite knowing that he could never stay with her he can't walk away from her either.
This was a good book. It was a challenge reading it though because I am a big paranormal reader and tend to read chick lit books to break up the paranormals and have a change, so to have them both in one book was a bit strange and it sort of worked for me. It is written in first person but it switches point of view between Celia and Tom. This was a bit strange and took some getting used to at the start but once I did get used to it, it was kind of fun getting both peoples points of view on the same event in the story. Also where you got both peoples points of view I felt you got to know both characters equally well because you spent time in both of their heads if that makes sense!
I loved the characters in the book. They are likeable and easy to relate to and quite quickly I felt invested into their story. I didn't like Celia to begin with and couldn't work out why she warranted help. As the book went on she redeemed herself and proved herself a worthy heroine! I loved Tom and being an angel he was the perfect man.
There was one aspect of this book that left me wanting more and feeling a bit puzzled at the end. As a big paranormal reader I am used to lots of world building and explaining of how these powers came about etc. I felt that this part of the story could have been developed a bit more and a bit more depth added to the story line.
I really enjoyed this book and it made me read something out of the ordinary for me, combining 2 genres that I enjoy reading in to one book! I would recommend this book to anyone who reads chick-lit and doesn't mind a bit of paranormal in it or someone starting to read paranormal books.
I look forward to reading more by this author!

Thank you, Tracy.

Weekend miscellaneous

I've been all excited for the past few days. Yes, excited! My friend is coming to visit and will stay for a few days. The reason ain't that much fun, though. I'm getting a year older. Now for those who know me, are aware that I hate it, basically now leaning more towards death than life. Unless I actually follow my grand grand mother who died at the age of 89. If I'm still alive at eighty, I'll start smoking again, cigars, inhaling and that. Nothing more elegant like a lady with a cigar, eh? I like one occasionally, with a good whiskey on the side and an even better conversation.

An e-mail exchange with my friend Tom, which I thought was hilarious.

I      :  She always comes for my (don't mention it) birthday.
Tom:  Happy birthday. I won't ask what number it is.
I      :  It's my xxx birthday. Fucking old, man.
Tom:  Tell me about it. I missed the comma in your second sentence at first and thought "Fuck you!"

(Goes to show why this comma was invented and why I'm so keen on it.)

However, my friend's coming to visit and I've been cleaning the flat. If you ever feel that need to clean, but can't be arsed, just invite someone, that'll do nicely. I'll cook something that can easily be warmed up and the ale's in the fridge.
<----I know it's old, but I couldn't help it. Too funny. Well, these two Germans plan a lot of culture, the odd museum (Damien Hurst in the Tate), I quite fancy the Science Museum (fucking geek, me), we will definitely go to the Arcola theatre, to the roof park and, yes, let's not forget the pub culture.

She hasn't seen the new flat yet and I'm anxious what she'll say. My old flat had Stella written all over it. Quirky, small (not that I'm small), unique and every one of my visitors felt at home immediately. I hope my new flat will have the same impact on her. I quite love it, so I guess she will, too. And she's seeing my big boy after one year. Can't wait to see her face as he's grown so much.

What else is on the agenda? Meeting up with my friends John and Bobby, most certainly English breakfast in a cafe, whatever we feel like, Camden's not far and always worth a visit. A kind woman from the neighbourhood is kindly lending us a spare bike so we can cycle everywhere. It's so much better than public transport and you can just stop for a pint whenever you feel like it.

Break the rules, but break them effectively.

Writers get told to follow the rules. Rules in this case being proven guidelines of what works and what doesn't for an unsuspecting reader. I've come to learn that they are rather helpful, especially for new writers. Once you are acquainted with them and have successfully written your book(s) applying the rules, you are ready to break them.
To be clear, I'm not talking about grammar like syntax or tense. If they are used wrongly, it could be a rather odd read, dialogue being the exception. If the character isn't a native English speaker, it should reflect, as well as when a character isn't as well educated.
No, I'm talking about the more advanced writing, about the author who tries to experiment with different ideas and styles. As many of you know, my short stories are in second person point of view, which many writers said is a big no no. I shrugged and let the public -- the readers -- decide. Not one complaint in over 4k sales.
Others will say head hopping should be avoided. Why? If done well, you won't even notice it. I know of a bloke who experiments with punctuation, or better the lack of it -- mainly the speech marks. That's brave and difficult to pull off. Haven't read the book yet, but will try a sample to see if it works for me. Readers have complained. A lot. Probably a sign that he didn't pull it off well enough. Or maybe they weren't open to it.
My opinion: if you break the rules, be consistent throughout the book. It should be easy to adapt to and made enjoyable. 
I had a conversation with one of my Twitter friends, who said he's a minimalist when using commas. When I read a sample of one of his books, the absence of commas before names in direct speech irritated me, so much, that I'm confident I wouldn't be able to read one of his books. Nothing to do with the quality, but I just hate this particular comma not being where it belongs. I know you can see from the sentence if it needs a comma or not. (Age old: 'Let's eat grandma' vs. 'Let's eat, grandma'), but if you use it in one case and not so in another, it would make an inconsistent use. To me, that is. But what if other readers think the same? Is it really worth it to compromise this little comma?
But if breaking the rules means being inconsistent, then it might be the wrong way of breaking them. Those readers who don't know that the author intentionally omitted them, will think s/he doesn't know any better and might dismiss the author as unprofessional.

What do you think as a reader, do you mind?
For authors: Did you break rules?
Why did you do it?
Did you receive complaints, praise?
Would you do it again?

Just seen and can't stop laughing

Although it's no laughing matter. The things people do... I'm gasping for air, shaking my head and...

Oh well, let's get to the read story. So there are a few readers who want to help Indies by reviewing their books. Which is absolutely lovely and much appreciated. On one of the threads on Amazon, where people are supposed to reply with their book links, pops up a a girl, complaining she received one negative review, by someone who claims she's spamming the fora with her book.

A quick click on her name shows the book of a guy, the only review that girl did. Now since she said it's her book, s/he has openly admitted to reviewing her own book under a different identity. Another quick research revealed that most of the reviews seem to have been made either by himself under different names or friends and family. All five stars, of course. There were some with four stars, I didn't check on them.

And one more research for the book title showed this author, again slightly obscured by just using his initials and surname has spammed the fora, as the reviewer said.

The one negative review, by the way, is a wonderfully balanced and fair-sounding assessment.

Now if that's not funny, I don't know what else is. I can only shake my head in wonder what length people will go to get their books sold and read, thinking readers are the most stupid people in the universe.

And all Indies suffer.

Is Indie publishing the new slush-pile?

Before the instant-success outlets like Smashwords and Amazon popped up, giving writers the opportunity to share their scribblings with the world, agents and acquisition editors could hardly open the door to their offices and the computer almost exploded when they checked their e-mails. They had been swamped with submissions and as many aspiring authors know, rejected about 99% of them. Some definitely not deserved, but a lot of them probably were. I'm wondering if submissions have become less due to the fact, that one can now cut out the middleman and cash 100% of the royalties instead. Let alone the giddy feeling of watching sales (if there are any) increase and reviews coming in.
But with the reviews comes the truth; instead of a form rejection you get a massive clip around the ears from the buying public. And rightly so, if an author can't string together a decent plot, develop rounded characters or think that hers should be written her's, they don't deserve anything better than a rejection. But this one hurts, because you can't tell yourself that the agent has missed the book of the decade; or the editor probably just had a bad day, no, we're talking about a real reader, someone who went to download the book, wanting only one thing: to be entertained. If the author fails to deliver, it's bad news.
Maybe I'm a bit cynic here, but I also delete a massive amount of e-books quite early in. Reason: often adventurous punctuation in dialogue, unlikable or one-dimensional characters and the most annoying: underdeveloped or totally unrealistic storyline. I'd say, I stick with every tenth book I started, reading it from cover to cover, the rest goes. None of the Indie books I read had me glued to the Kindle, shrieking with excitement. Only three had a decent storyline, tough one was a biography. Most of them had been free downloads. I've seen comments already, saying that free means shite, but what they forget is, that they're only free for a certain period, normally they cost money. Unless it's a permanently free book, which still is a riddle to me.
I'm a reader, too and wading through the slush-pile of self-published books is a tough job. The quality of the writing varies greatly and often, the premise looks fantastic, so are the first 50%, then the plot sags like an old-man's scrotum. Those authors of books that sell well, will have a chance to receive a phone call from the big players in the industry. Agents and publishers are already watching like hawks, waiting for the next successful novel to float on top. And I can't help thinking it's all down to the poor people who now have to face the slush-pile: the readers