Quick and easy garlic and chard pasta

The good thing about growing your own food is that you need to harvest regularly and therefore always have to make up your mind about what to eat. Recently, I brought home a bag full of chard and tonight I used it to make an easy vegetarian pasta dish.

You need: 
Pasta
Chard
Cherry tomatoes
Garlic
Red chili
Pine nuts (roasted)
Thyme and Oregano
A tbs of cream

Cook the pasta.
In the meantime, cut the cherry tomatoes in halves, and the chard in thin stripes, then chop the garlic, chili and herbs.
When the pasta is ready, drain and put the pan with a tablespoon of olive oil back on the heat.
Add the garlic, chili and herbs, stir for 30 seconds, then add the chard and pine nuts. Stir for a minute. Turn the heat off.
Add the cream, pasta and pinch of salt.
Serve with Parmesan shavings.

Tip of the week: editing services, spot the unprofessional

I'm really pissed off. Yes, you gathered, this is a half-rant, turning into a tip. I just read the opening of a book which apparently has been edited by an editing & proofreading service. Now, I've seen post of the person behind that editing service who regularly leaves out the commas before names when addressing another person, which lead me to conclude the person doesn't know that there belongs a comma. And promptly, in said book, there are no commas before names in dialogue. That book also has an overuse on italics, almost every paragraph contained one -- to emphasise words, which is not wrong, but unnecessary and an editor should know that. I also found an incident of  'Running down the stairs, she pulled on her jeans.' Other situation, same principle. An editor should pick up on that and correct it. In addition to that I came across a lower case letter in direct speech when it should have been upper case, etc. Not happy, I'm not happy at all. You know why?
Because people have their doubts about my being able to edit their ms because I'm not an English native, while that editor is an English native and does it wrongly! I don't offer copy editing and proofing for that reason, I'm still learning, but I'm a damn good editor when it comes to story line and characters. And I know all the things listed above! There! I said it.

As you know I've been criticising self-published authors/books for a while because of the poor quality. A good quality book has everything correct: the characterisation, the story line, the pace and the grammar -- and that with consistency. With all the complaints left, right and centre from readers, authors finally realised they have to work harder and get outside help. But what use is an outside help if they just can't do the job properly? It doesn't help the reputation of self-published book either. The problem is, that everyone can call themselves an editor or proofreader. I did it, too. Editor, that is. But I know my limits and will not go beyond them. Others do and will announce they're proofreaders when in fact, they only spot some typos, but are clueless regarding the real proofreader's job. It angers me that those people take advantage of authors who don't know better.

My advice: learn as much as you can yourself. Let someone knowledgeable check the editor/proofreader, if they have done a good job. Or even better: test them beforehand. They should be able to correct all the things I've listed in the first paragraph. I have a feeling that most authors are just too lazy to learn the tools themselves, shrug it off, saying, but that's why I hire an editor/proofreader. To me, that's not the right way to go about it. The problem is that if you don't know how it's done right, you'll walk into the trap of paying money to an unprofessional. Plus, the more you know, the less an editor/proofreader has to do. Especially the latter should mainly pick up on a few typos or other errors you've made. The basics should be learned by the author and come as naturally as breathing while writing.

Here are some post I did in the past for you to learn the basics every author should know. That would sort out half the complaints readers make:

Dialogue attributes Part 1

An important comma that makes a difference

Possessive apostrophe Part 1

A rant about the impossible, authors, editors...

From idiots to the more pleasant

I know, I know, I have neglected my blog and readers for longer than intended. I was busy 'defending' myself, once again and also with writing.
You probably remember the guy who went about accusing me of tagging his book with inappropriate tags? Well, he was on it again, this time, he accused me of slating his book, referring to a post where I said I had sent out the beginning of a book to a friend and it came back with the comment that it has more a chick lit feel to it rather than literary, despite the second person (which referred to the POV). I had a chat with someone else about that particular book, and slagged it off (mock style) as to how future reviewers will see it.
What that guy didn't 'get' was that I was talking about my own book, an unpublished novel, which I sent to a friend to get a 'feel' for it.
So I found that particular comment and posted it to prove to my 'stalker' that he got it wrong. Do you think he'd apologise? Nope, instead he carried on to insult me and others who dared to not side with him. It's the third time he derailed a thread of mine, a discussion I started, which, of course, was about to get heated due to the subject matter (I questioned the quality of self-published books), but he had to come and call me a liar and disgusting; he 'offered' me to turn me into wurst, etc. He then admitted, by accident, I think, to have self-reviewed his book (though he claims it was his friend/wife/partner -- the one who called me stupid, by the way), and not him. When people picked him up on that, he whined that people accuse him of something he didn't do. Sound familiar? Yes. He got to taste a bit of his own medicine, just that he openly admitted what he did, for all to see, and I didn't do anything of what he claimed I had done. I only shook my head as he continued to make an idiot of himself. I reported this issue to Amazon, who deleted some of his posts, but the insults are still there. Not very helpful of them.

Anyway, I've also been writing on my thriller and am sending every finished chapter to my friend Piddi, who now threatened to become a fan of that novel.Who would have thought? Not her genre normally. But I also secured a lovely beta reader who indeed reads mainly thrillers and horror and therefore is a perfect fit to read mine, including the gory scenes. Now I  just have to finish it, which means about 30k by end of July. No pressure, then.

Other good news on the writing front: Someone who read No Wings Attached, recently said she had no clue that I was self-published. She only read two self-published books and one was mine. So she thought my novel was traditionally published and I guess you know that I grew at least two inches after that statement. Shows that hard work pays off. On the downside: another reader found about 35 errors, which have been corrected since then, but had me embarrassed once again.

And I've been in the garden, picking lots of lettuce, which provided me with lovely salads. It is coming along really nice. The poppies are flowering beautifully, the courgettes have little flowers and the tomato plants grow stronger from week to week. It's a pleasure to go up and potter around. Gave the mint, lemon balm and sage a massive haircut, cut everything back so the new leaves can grow back healthily.

Tonight, I went to watch Prometheus in 3D with friends and can say that even someone like me, who can't stand horror and all the gory bits, watched it without even having to blink. It's good, but nothing to get overly excited about and some things made me shake my head, re believability and some funny glitches we discussed later. It felt a bit like a remake of Alien in parts. Still, I enjoyed it.

I couldn't hold myself back anymore

For days I had the longing for a massive creamy cake or anything that contained whipped cream. Normally I have this craving every six months. Don't ask me why, but I then can't go past anything fat and unhealthy, stuff my face with it and are healed for the next six months.
I had resisted the urge for the past few days, but today, I thought: Sod it! I need some cream! and went to buy waffles, one of those sweet creams in a can and cherries in a glass.

 The absolutely incredible and indulgent result

Man, you won't believe how it felt to eat it. Let me tell you, it was wonderful. Well, for that kind of session I'll have to work a few hours in the garden tomorrow, but I don't mind. It was worth it.
Tonight, I'll have Spaghetti Carbonara (home made, of course) and that'll be enough cream in one day.

After that I'll have to sit down and write, because I seem to have overcome another hurdle. Half way into the Thriller, I yesterday realised, that from now on it's going to be all the brutal violent scenes, which means a lot of fun to write. The pace is picking up, too. To be honest, I can't wait to finish the book and send it out to the beta-readers for feedback.

I also wonder if anyone would recognise my 'voice' when it's out under a pseudonym. I have a name already, as well as a title (which my friend loves a lot, by the way).

I'll keep you posted.

Lost in senses

Don't you just want to ruffle through the thyme and stick your nose in it? I do that every time when I'm on the roof. The aroma is delicious and it looks pretty with its lilac flowers. Just the ruffling will please four of my five senses: looking at it, feeling it, hearing it and smelling it. If I'd had a nibble, I could even taste it. The moment I step in the garden, I am greeted by beautiful, vibrant colours: the red poppies, the orange calendulas, the almost blue violas, the deep red of the black nasturtium, white and lilac pansies, the yellow of the courgette flowers, the red strawberries, the lush green of the herbs -- everything captures my eyes. I regularly rub the herbs to smell them, as well as I do pick lemon balm, spearmint or peppermint to make a tea to enjoy while I'm looking after the garden. Since we have plenty of lettuce, I pick some leaves in between to snack on, as well as some of the flowers.

You can eat both of the nasturtium. My iguana loves them and has decided that they, mustard greens and Pak Choi are his choice of the month. Iguanas, by the way, have mainly three senses that guide them: they have a superb eyesight, pretty good smell and taste. They can hear, too, but don't rely too much on it.
Back to me and my gardening; I love being up there, getting my hands dirty, discovering earthworms, new flowers, new fruit, another seedling poking its tender green leaves through the soil in search for the sun. There is so much to do and to learn. If we have a session with our gardener Alex, I can be sure I'll see things I've never seen before. Yesterday, she showed me a beautiful piece of art by nature, albeit not wanted in our garden: skeletons of a few leaves that had been eating by tiny grubs. I bet their taste buds jubilated.

But not everyone is able to use all their senses. We have one in our group who lost her sense of smell and has adapted to it, but I keep wondering how it would be to not be able to smell. I admit to have given her some black peppermint and asked her to have a sniff. Needless to say, that I ending up being mortified to have asked her. Although I know more people being blind or with a hearing impairment/mute, I only know two people who can't smell anything.
Not being able to smell often means it has an impact on taste, too. For me, being a keen cook and savourer of food, it would be devastating; not being able to sniff a good glass of wine before having a sip, letting it swirl around my mouth to unfold its full aroma, the pleasure of tasting the slight hint of tarragon in a sauce...

We take our and others' senses for granted, but I think we should celebrate our senses. Be aware of them, use them as much as we can, be grateful for them. Speaking of it: I cooked a meal with our home grown aquadulce beans (broad beans) and it was delicious.

Here is the very easy recipe:
Broad beans
Smoked bacon (copped or in fine stripes)
Small onion  (chopped finely)
Summer savory (a rare herb to enhance the flavour of the beans)
Fry the onions and bacon in a little bit of oil until brown, add the beans and cover with water. Season with salt, pepper and the summer savoury and let it simmer for about 20 to 25 minutes.
Thicken the sauce with cornflower (best to mix it first with a bit of water in a cup). Serve with either, mashed or boiled potatoes.

10 things I hate about Indies

These are a few observations I've made over time, some are more recent than others. As usual, I use the universal term Indie authors, but there are plenty of wonderful people -- the exceptions to the rule -- who I converse, discuss, exchange and am friends with. Those of you, I cherish.

#  1 Indies don't care about me, they only want my 'vote'.
I have a few new followers daily. Mostly writers. As soon as they realise I don't follow back, they'll unfollow me quickly. Many still haven't grasped that other writers/authors are not their target audience. Networking with plenty of authors will not result in the sales they hope for. It may improve your knowledge and writing, though, so use networking for that.

#  2 Indies seem to have forgotten how to read.
Pose a question and you can be sure to get a reply that won't answer your question. Totally unrelated and from their point of view, making it about their books and their writing, self-absorbed and unnecessary. Particularly on fora where authors mingle.
 
#  3 Indies are worse than every sales person I've ever met.
No matter where you go: Twitter, Facebook, writer fora, you always have those who would blatantly disrespect other people's discussions and dumb a link to their book smack bang in the middle of it. Or they will ask you to retweet their books, like their Facebook page, take a look and follow their blogs, ask for comments, share or whatnot. No! Go away!

#  4 Indies can't take criticism.
Despite negative comments on their books from real readers that the characters and story line are flat, they only cherish the positive comments, disregarding any negative comment. Or worse: they will talk back.

#  5 Indies think readers are stupid.
Even if that may be the case for a few, the majority of readers is rather switched on. So they will spot that the author had family, friends and their dog to write reviews or recommend their books on the forum. Writing fake reviews, bribing independent reviewers backfires to those who go about the business with honesty.

#  6 Indies are the biggest arse-kissers I've ever come across.
I can't even tell you how many times I've heard 'I loved your book, can't wait for the sequel to come out'. They'll be all over you with only one aim: to get you to buy their books and review it. In most cases you will never hear from them again. It all a lot of hot air.
 
#  7 Indies constantly refer to rubbish traditionally published books with errors in it.
Yes, there's a lot of rubbish, but it's normally well-edited rubbish with a minimum on errors and typos and often just a matter of taste. Since I'm deleting so many Indie books due to terrible character and story building, as well as wrongly used dialogue attributes, I'm not convinced that both compare. I have read only a few which compared to the quality standard of traditionally published books, yet, they were still a far cry from the book that made me sit up and say: better than any traditionally published book I've ever read.

#  8 Indies claim that we have to support each other.
Er, no. I don't have to. If I want to support someone, I'll do that. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for helping if someone gets stuck with their writing, to cast an eye over it and help to clear the blockage. I'll even shout it from the roof tops if I find a book worth recommending, but I won't do that just because 'We Indies have to stick together.' Which leads me to number nine.

#  9  Indies say we are not competitors.
We are not? Interesting how quickly the perception changes if one has a bit more success than the other. There's so much bullying and bitching going on behind the scenes, it makes me sick. Writers love to help each other, but as soon as they're published, they are competitors. Like it or not, it's a fact.

# 10 Indies think they are the next big thing.
Most of us are not. Not even close. So you are an author, fine, but to be the next big thing, you need sales and without sales you're just an unsuccessful author. 10k free downloads doesn't count. Better quit the 'bestselling author' in your bio. I've not heard of you, and I assume, nor has the world, so you are most likely not a bestselling author.

A happy ending of a shite day

Anyone want my day? Because it doesn't feel like it belongs to me. I'm mightily pissed off. No particular reason, apart from being really knackered and in pain. Last night I wished I could throw far enough to stop those helicopters from circling above my house. Can't they do that by day? Do they have to do it at night and for hours? And this morning I awoke earlier than I wanted to due to my bladder about to burst. After that I couldn't sleep anymore and decided to could get up anyway.
The day has started shite and evil grinned at me as I forgot to take out the butter, the bread crumbed between my fingers and the soap slipped more than once out of my hand.
When I wanted to refill the pressure sprayer for to spray the vivarium, a thingy broke, which only didn't make it useless for my DIY skills. Glad I didn't chop off my finger, considering what a wonderful hour I already had to look back to. Quickly dipped out to send my friend her headset which she forgot and didn't see the single bubble wrap envelops, thought they didn't sell them and bought a pack of ten instead. Something I probably never use again. In the post office, just one person before me, but it took ages. Yes, how much I love waiting!
On my way to the garden, the damn roads were packed with idiots who drove in my way, or obviously thought my home grown airbags (tits and arse) would be enough protection in case they knocked me off my bike! Never mind, I only have terrible back pain today, after the 40 times back and forth with two watering cans hanging from both of my arms. In addition to that I banged several of my body parts against visible obstacles -- a favourite hobby of mine -- and therefore will end up looking green and blue.

On the roof, the guy I brought some home made meat balls and pasta salad saw me working and didn't come up to say hello or report how good the food was until much later, which I found rather ungrateful. And when opening our tool box, I hurt my hand where the iguana bit me. You know this sort of pain, when it knocks the air out of you first, then sends tears shooting into your eyes and you swear the heftiest words only people with Tourette would say? Yes, exactly that sort of pain jolted through my right arm. Didn't really lift my mood. Somehow I ran around like a headless chicken and couldn't find a proper system to work, which drove me mad, I filled the kettle with water and forgot to switch it on, left my secateurs in a bed and had to search for it, couldn't find a place for the lettuce to got, etc.

Stopped at the supermarket. I a great idea for a home made sandwich with humus and falafel or chicken -- When I finally bit into it, the chicken sandwich didn't rise to my expectations. I hate it when that happens. And because I'm far too tired to write and I feel terribly guilty when I don't write I'll now have a bottle of wine. At least I'll have a good night's sleep, or so I hope.