Yodel, serious contestant of most incompetent service

Stella no shoes

I've never used this company before, nor will I in future. And it seems that I'm not the only one; their Twitter feed is littered with complaints about parcels not arriving, left on the street, notes without consignment numbers left in places where everyone can just grab them, etc. What I've experienced today tops my wildest dreams.
Last week, I ordered a pair of boxing shoes from SportsDirect. It was a particular online offer, shoes in my size were quite a bit cheaper than in the store and since I'm a bit of cheapskate, I thought, why not? I received a message from Yodel who informed me that the parcel would be delivered in two working days. Wonderful, I thought, I can finally go back to boxing, and I was rather much looking forward to. Yesterday morning, I looked at the reference number they'd texted me and found my parcel to be out for delivery for today, Tuesday, 5th of November. All hunky-dory. Or so I thought.
Today, I was all excited, anticipating the arrival of said boxing shoes, and just to see what the status update was, I checked the reference to find out that the parcel had been delivered. Huh? But why has nobody rang my buzzer? It's a very loud one, you can't possibly not hear. Unless you're deaf, but since there's nothing wrong with my ears ...
Well, I thought, maybe they rang a neighbour's door and left the parcel in the hallway--something that happens regularly, but I'd have expected them to try my buzzer first, right? Downstairs greeted me with the usual mix of random flyers, but no parcel. I wondered if the new neighbours may have taken it in, but couldn't imagine it, plus surely the driver would have left a note for me?
Deflated, I went upstairs again, to check if I could find who signed for the parcel. No answer to that, but I found out that, apparently, yesterday I went down to the depot to collect it myself(!). Again, huh? I had my arse firmly placed on my couch at 6.31pm, a plate of delicious home-made curry in front of me. Unless I am unknowingly capable of astral-projecting, it wasn't me who collected the parcel and signed in my name(!).
Fuming, I called the pay-high-charges-because-that's-how-we-make-our-money number to unload my frustration. The poor sod (not unexpected) couldn't do anything else than apologise and advise to call SportsDirect--he even gave me their number and told me to choose option 2. (Happens a lot that customers call and complain, by any chance?)
With steam coming out of my ears, I called SD on an equal who-cares-about-the-high-charges-you're-just-a-customer number and complained. They couldn't do much either--now that's a real surprise--but promised to investigate, which may take up to ten days. Oh, great, I thought.
I then went on to Twitter, as a fellow sufferer suggested, and tried to get those Yodel Twitter-monkeys, who are all cheery (yes) and helpful (not) to shed some light onto the situation, but even they left me hanging as they 'hadn't heard back from the depot'. Nice job, Yodel.
The problem now is, that the online offer from SD is gone, and therefore my bargain shoes. Yodel's confidently handed them over to someone else, leaving me that enraged, I just want to punch a bag. But wait: I ain't got no boxing shoes to go to training! Thanks a bunch, you twats.