Earth at Facebook – you listening?

Well, if you have a minute, I'd like to talk to you. Why, you wonder? Don't be impatient, I'll tell you right now.

You see, Facebook, almost every time when I log in, I will have suggestions aplenty, of who I should be friends with, which games the people I'm connected with play, adverts explaining to me how I would lose weight or pictures of funny crooked houses (I'm still unsure what that ad is about); you inform me about who changed their profile and who read what news. The point is, Facebook, I don't fucking care about all of that. It's hefty enough to deal with all the little red figures, forcing me to catch up with all the fifty six comments other people made on a thread I mindlessly commented on.

Now, since recently you started to inform me that the person who posted on a thread is also a friend of my friends, and every time this person replies to someone on that thread, while I'm trying to type mine, this huge box appears, hiding what I'm typing. So I have to click it away or wait until it disappears, unfortunately, by then, the conversations has moved on or I've lost my thought. Or worse, I hit enter and the whole error riddled answer appears and while I went to the kitchen to get a glass of much needed red wine, the ability to edit my post that reads as if my iguana tried tap dance on my laptop, has gone, too.

Not that this is the only worry I have. I have been known to update my status with – admittedly – rather confusing statements such as: I have notpublished my sequel.

Much to the amusement of those who happened across it, which then developed into a long discussion and my ever growing embarrassment of not being able to change the innocent t to a w. Do you think it's funny that I accidentally called the lovely Catherine, Catering? Or the occasion when I drank red whine, making people think I probably had far more than it's good for me?

For months now, I've been asking, no pleading, begging you even, to introduce an edit-button, so I can correct errors I stumble across the next day. Up to today, you denied me my wish. Why?

And just to torture me a bit more and add to my, as you will probably think, trivial problems, you needed to introduce a new timeline – which, for those of us who use a touch pad instead of a mouse – is a pain to scroll down to the last comment and not an improvement to the overall performance. When I caved and changed to the damn thing, you promised me I could drag that picture around. I guess I don't have to tell you that it wasn't moving one bit.

Facebook, if you can introduce so many useless functions and buttons, why don't you seem to be able to get one of your highly skilled people to get us an edit-button?

Because if you don't I will call you Failbook from now on!

Newsletter: return to sender

Yes, that's another social media rant. Recently, I started to receive e-mails from several review sites and other people I've been in touch with. Somehow they seem to think it's okay to add me to their mailing list  to update me on their bowel movements. Guess what? It's not! What makes you think I am so bored that I need to read several blog posts a day, dear Sender? Hm? Care to explain?
Though I do understand that reviewers or authors want to gather a solid following and visitors who come regularly to read their offerings, I find it rather annoying to be bombarded with e-mails, especially if I didn't sign up for it. Marketing is important, but certainly not that way. In fact it's the easiest way to get rid of me. If I work with a review blog, I'm all up for posting the links, on twitter, on facebook on other platforms; I do want to help spreading the word, but if you force me to read your stuff, I'm less inclined to be honest. Yes, and I have to admit that even your chirpy 'Hello, it's me again' fails to make me smile.
Almost every site or blog has the option of an RSS feed or other subscription buttons, don't you think I'm intelligent enough to click on it, or fill in my e-mail address if I wanted to receive updates? Just a suggestions.
There is a difference between targeting your market and spamming and I consider receiving e-mails I didn't ask for as spam.

Especially you, Review bloggers. You see, the time I spend clicking through the process of unsubscribing, I could have read your post and be on the way to comment or I could have tweeted about it, if I found it be tweet-worthy. But please tell me why I would want to tweet a review of a book I didn't even read? Maybe I wouldn't like the book and then I tweeted something in the world wide web, and people who trust my taste, go and buy the book and are bitterly disappointed if they don't like it, blaming me. Or is the purpose of your e-mail a try to sell me the book? Well, if I was short on reads, I would know where to go since I have your site somewhere in my favourites.

I'm an author, not a reader. Maybe you should think about who your audience is. Surely it's not the authors whose books you agreed to review? I mean, I'm a reader, too, but mainly an author, so why do you pester me with your e-mails about the newest reviews? Or did I misunderstand? Did asking you if you want to review my book entail a life-long subscription with your site?
If that's the case, I'd rather not have my book reviewed by you. You see, I thought you want to reach readers, because only readers will make you big and only readers are important to us authors. For some reason, I find you got the wrong end of the stick.

But be assured, the next time I receive an e-mail from you, I'll hit the unsubscribe button until I have my peace back.