Thursday, 2 January 2014

A short next installment

I think this reflects on my creative process. Admittedly, the bit I posted yesterday was the result of two days. When I started writing today I wasn't sure what I'd come up with, because there's always this blank spot ahead of me. I know Elaine is on her walk, pondering, wondering, and hurting. And I quite liked where it was going, but it's difficult to get into the same frame of mind the next day. Like Elaine's, my moods change. Nevertheless, I managed to write a bit, and a bit is better than nothing, right?
For tomorrow (the next installment) I have some plans for Mr Obnoxious, whose character I've already developed in my head. He's also got a name, but you'll have to wait and get to know him slowly before I'll reveal more.

The sobering thought slapped me hard in the face as I stomped along the small pathway between the fields. I'd be faithful to John and my vows, but won't get anything in return; no delicious smell of his warm body when I crawl underneath the covers an hour after he went to bed. There will be no smile for me when he comes home, all plans we'd made together had become mine. Like this get away. We wanted to travel the world, enjoy life. Together. I was sure he didn't want me to suffer so much, but how could I not? Life is unpredictable, they say, and I wholeheartedly agreed. When you walk through it thinking it won't hit me, it most possibly will. Hit you hard. And it'll knock their air out of you, pulls you down into a hole you fear to never get out again, and if you do you best and reach the top—just with your fingers—the hole grows and you slip up, falling back into its deep blackness.
I rubbed my forehead and stopped. My sides were aching from the power walk and irregular breathing. Turning on the spot, I looked around and calmed down. Interesting how in this surrounding, when you let your thoughts run freely, the quiet can be this deafening. It drowned out the singing of birds, the soft whoosh of the wind rustling with the weeds and bushes; all I could hear was my longing for my lost soul mate, and it became louder and louder to almost unbearable decibel.
'This is crazy; you can't go on like this!' I said, as if I could convince myself to change. With a sigh, I took a right which I assumed would lead to the main road in order to return to the Inn. Patience, I repeated to myself, patience is all you need. Compared to where I'd been just three weeks ago, I was doing fine. And as mum and Amy had said, nobody expected me to function 'normally' any time soon. Bless them. When I was back at the Inn, I'd give them a ring. They possibly expected to hear from me, and it would be nice to hear their voices. With that to look forward to, I felt slightly elevated and able to take in what the countryside had to offer.
It was impossible to ignore the buzz going round at the Inn. The vibes literally came snaking out, taken hold of me and pulled me in as if they were bungees. The moment I arrived, Gary strolled down the stairs and when he spotted me entering the hallway, he rushed over to take me by the hand and twirl me around. I laughed.
'If you keep going, I may just throw up on you.'
He put on a mock shock face. 'Nooo, you wouldn't!'
'Not if you stop spinning me.'
'Okay, okay.' Hand on hips, he scrutinized me. 'So, you feeling better?'
Perceptive. I nodded. 'A bit.'
'Let's make that a lot. Up, up, you go, darling, dinner's ready and we'll have so much fun.'
I curtseyed and said, 'As you wish, sir.'
'There, that's much better.' Chuckling, he added, 'I'll keep you a seat.'
'See you in five,' I called over my shoulder. Yes, I felt a little better. For now

1 comment:

  1. Gary,you better save TWO seats,Zorro will need one as well....