Just seen and can't stop laughing

Although it's no laughing matter. The things people do... I'm gasping for air, shaking my head and...

Oh well, let's get to the read story. So there are a few readers who want to help Indies by reviewing their books. Which is absolutely lovely and much appreciated. On one of the threads on Amazon, where people are supposed to reply with their book links, pops up a a girl, complaining she received one negative review, by someone who claims she's spamming the fora with her book.

A quick click on her name shows the book of a guy, the only review that girl did. Now since she said it's her book, s/he has openly admitted to reviewing her own book under a different identity. Another quick research revealed that most of the reviews seem to have been made either by himself under different names or friends and family. All five stars, of course. There were some with four stars, I didn't check on them.

And one more research for the book title showed this author, again slightly obscured by just using his initials and surname has spammed the fora, as the reviewer said.

The one negative review, by the way, is a wonderfully balanced and fair-sounding assessment.

Now if that's not funny, I don't know what else is. I can only shake my head in wonder what length people will go to get their books sold and read, thinking readers are the most stupid people in the universe.

And all Indies suffer.

WAR of the Indies

Catching title, isn't it? Just you wait until you read on, you will be surprised what takes place in the land of Indie publishing.
Yesterday, following a recent post of mine, I had a bit of joke with a fellow blogger/author; I said I'm only waiting for one Indie author or blogger to openly diss me and he said he'd gladly help with the headline 'Bitch Editor Butchers Indies'. We had a good laugh.

Today, I was chatting away on my thread on the Amazon forum and suddenly, out of nowhere, got accused of having added inappropriate tags to a book. The accuser is an author I had a few run-ins with and after I told him I don't like his online persona, I had left in peace. Live and let live, you know? Although he agreed to the feelings being mutual, he turned up on my threads and either derailed them with a complete off-topic post or he just dumped his link in the middle of a conversation. I spoke about it here. As you can probably imagine, I was rather surprised to have such false accusations hurled at me, along with some other ramblings about a chapter I apparently sent to a friend and the response made me fall off my chair. I have no idea what this is about, but never mind. The important thing is that this author thinks I have nothing better to do than seeking out his book on the German website and add tags, or better ask a friend to do the dirty work for me. Why the heck would I do that? He seemed to have concluded it was me or a friend because I'm German and I commented on his link-dumping with: Bit random. By the way: if I really wanted to sabotage his book, I would have done so on the UK or US site, and I have plenty of friends all over the world, who could tag as if there's no tomorrow.

You see, I'm all for walking away from arguments and had he just called me a fucking bitch, I would have shrugged and moved on without any reaction, but this is defamation and a different matter. I've asked a person, who had some tagging issues in the past and she said you can hover over them to find out who added them. Well, I can't, but she looked and none of the tags said my name. Surely some will argue it was one of my friends, but believe me, they also have better things to do. I'm not in Kindergarten anymore. I'll tell you exactly what I think of you and then turn around an leave you alone. I might be loud and I rant a lot, but I don't stab anyone in the back, that's just not my style.

I've contacted Amazon.com, co.uk and de and asked for the tags to be removed and also told them about the accusations. It took bloody many hours off my day, for something I have no relation to whatsoever. If I do something wrong, I'll freely admit it and hang my head in shame; heck I even apologise if necessary, but I will not sit back and have someone throw dirt at my name.

Bullies, stalkers and the Amazon forum

I've been around fora and chats for while and know it can get rather heated. People who live in the computer instead of having real, living and breathing friends are an odd breed. At least those who think the anonymity of the Internet gives them a free pass for bullying. Those are the ones, who wouldn't be able to say a word to someone in person, but hey, in the safety of their home, perhaps some drinks involved and they turn into real monsters.

Heated discussions are good; they are healthy, they are necessary for us to see other point of views, but not everyone can discuss on a neutral level. There's attacks like, 'You're full of shit!'
I wonder why someone feels the need to resolve to such matters? Especially authors, who should have a way with words.
Yesterday, I've been called a stupid author of a poorly written book who's into animal cruelty and been advised to go back to where I come from and that quickly.
Made me laugh, because two posts later, the poster admitted to not  have downloaded said book, hence not read it. She's a friend of said author telling people they are full of shit and she didn't like it when I raised my concerns. Said author also told me I should get a sense of humour. I guess he also didn't read my book. Oh well.

Personally, I don't interact with people like that. I do swear like a sailor, sure and I have called people arsehole in my life, yes, but I wouldn't dare doing that just because I disagree with them. It's normal to disagree and I think we humans should be smart enough to discuss on a civilised level. I also don't react to stalkers. I will let people know when I've got enough of their escapades and ignore them -- no losses there.

If I have a heated debate about something with my friends, I won't stand up and shout at them they are idiots or they have issues or don't know what they're talking about. I'll explain my viewpoint and hope they'll understand. I think I've never seen so many bullies than they are online. It's a bit like weed, they just spread and spread and if don't thin them out regularly, they'll take over. 

Oi, indie author, can I have a word, please?

Okay, now that you're here I have a bone to pick with you. Take a seat and listen.

You see, I do love you and I do want to support you and I certainly don't mind to connect with you, or have fun on the forum, twitter or facebook with you, but, and you knew there's going to be a but, didn't you? Yes, there's a big but and I will soon shed some light over the but to make it look a bit more like a but. Well, what I want to say is that although I understand your need to promote your book, to shout it from the roof tops, through a megaphone, even amplified if needed, and I know that you're proud of it, and so glad it's available for others to order and read, to scribble notes, to dog-ear, to bend, to keep it for themselves or rave about it to others, yes, I'm sure you've considered all those options already, what I finally want to say is that I cannot and will not understand why you would come onto my threads where I plug my book, shout from roof tops, in hope it's going to be heard by readers, so that their interest is piqued and they feel like they want to click the link I've provided in order to read more, download a sample, perhaps the whole book, to read it, to enjoy it, to dog-ear it, to laugh, to cry, to recommend; I wonder why you would come onto my thread to tell me, proud like a child who did its first drawing, showing it to its mother, that you have 'liked' my book on amazon, which leaves me with the feeling I have to return a favour, which, quite frankly, I don't want to return, not out of cruelness, but out of principle, because, if I'm honest, to me, it sounds a little desperate, especially, and I mean this in all honesty, when you whack a hint as heavy as a concrete pole over my head, and by that I mean you (un)subtly let me know that you're going to check out my humble writings, which, as you will understand, I certainly very much appreciate, even be thankful for, if it wasn't for the fact that, whilst letting me know, you're leaving a big fat link to your own work, which, of course, you expect me to look at, on my thread to plug my book, to plug your own book, uninvited. You see, I find this rather off-putting and, by doing what you're doing, please see, I feel I need to make you aware of it, you will most likely achieve quite the contrary. I, for once, am against swap buying, as well as review exchange, plus, and that's the most important reason, I am, and I'm sure so are you, able to click on names on threads and when you, being just yourself, having a good conversation with me, on the forum, twitter or facebook and you write in a genre I like, you will most likely be surprised that suddenly, there will be a new review for your book, that is, if I like what I read.


That's all I had to say, you're now free to leave and write a thousand times: I will not plug my book on Stella's threads again.

:-)

I'm a proud iguana mum and my other babies do well, too.

First off, my finger is healing well, and I can type without being in pain, which is a great relief. So it's back to writing. I've started the second book of rants, topic-related, of course.

Tuesday, I took Zorro to the vet who was rather in awe about how much weight he put on and, more importantly, how much he's grown. The iguana, that is. He was full of praise for my big boy, said I've done a really good job looking after him and that I should continue this way. According to the vet, he's in tip top condition, well, apart from his nose. I think a bit of bragging is in order: everyone, including vets and nurses, who looks at my dragon, is in absolutely smitten, saying he's really beautiful. And he certainly is.

Sleeping beauty

I was glad I could take the iguana home again  - without surgery. I have to give him painkillers daily and injections of antibiotics every three days. Tomorrow's the first and I'm not looking forward to it. Though I'm used to giving him injections, he's much bigger and stronger now, I'm injured, too and if he struggles too much, there's a danger of breaking the needle and that's certainly not what I want. And the skin at the root of his tail (where I usually inject as it's the most painless for him), is rather hard to penetrate. So wish me luck.

Further on, I've gotten some wonderful reviews for No Wings Attached as well as for Excuse me, where is the exit? which, by the way, has been in the top 100 humour bestseller charts since its release and it's showcased on Daily Cheap Reads today. Here a few comments from twitter, the amazon forum and even from Jason Matthews's wife, who jumped into the camera while we spoke about formatting and brainstorming ideas, yelling the following: "Stella! I love your book, I really do, it's amazing."

Sue B. says: (No Wings Attached)
Stella, I read your book and I enjoyed it. Write some more.
Now. Immediately...lol!
We readers are getting demanding, aren't we?

Colin Macaula:(Excuse me, where is the exit?) 
Awright, I was going to wait till I finished it but I have to tell you I am PISSING myself at EMWTE. Best 69p spendable.

Just the funniest thing I have read in ages. Had to change knickers. More power to you. X

Men love stuff like that, they just won't ever admit it. If I ever meet you, I'll deny it.

Nancy Eady:(No Wings Attached) 
I am about 1/3 through it and am enjoying it immensely. I don't have the time to read it through at one sitting like I want!  and today on twitter:

Finished No Wings Attached tonight and really enjoyed it.Are you writing a sequel?Will it explain some things from the end?

Those are the comments that keep an author writing, at least me. I find it still rather unreal that people part with their money to read my books, me, an unknown author, but it also warms my cockles, and that massively.

Thank you to all the readers out there who buy, enjoy and recommend my books. I want you to know that I'm really grateful.