Tip of the week: getting rid of repetitive I, she or he

Nothing is more annoying to a reader than reading a book in which every sentence starts with I, she or he. Many new writers who haven't got the skills yet will walk into that trap. Beginning every second or third sentence with he, she, or I often reads clumsy and disturbs the flow.
While repetition can enhance a certain passage, it can become rather monotone if used throughout a book.
But how to get rid of it?
Easy: by rephrasing, playing with the words.

 
Here is an example:
He opened the windows to see better. He stood there for another five minutes. He admired the woman walking in the garden. He hadn't seen her before. 

To see better, he opened the windows and admired the woman, which walked in the garden, for another five minutes. Who was she?

See the difference?

Another example:
I took the bus into the city. I couldn't afford a cab. I sat down and looked out the window. I was so annoyed with myself. I stared at the passing people barely noticing them.

A cab was not an option, not on my budget. Annoyed, I sat down and looked out the window, barely noticing the passing people.

I know the examples are a bit extreme, all I'm trying to say is to avoid this form of repetition unless it's absolutely necessary to use it for emphasises.

Breathe life into your characters and make them 3-dimensional

We often have difficulties to connect with a character; we can't put our fingers on it, but something is missing. In many cases it's the description or interaction with others. Real people have many sides to them, they are happy, they are sad, they are grumpy or even angry at times. Think about your friends; they have traits we love and traits you probably could do without, but all together, they make them complete - real.
Like the Rubik Cube to the left, we see them from different angles. The goal is to get them walking and talking like in a movie. Describing scenes is important, but so are our characters.

Looks are only one thing and I've already explained how to do it best here. But this is only one dimension. What about their behaviour? Is your MC a calm person, polite, reserved, moody, loud, withdrawn, laughs a lot, cries easily? You get the picture. It's important and very handy to have a good think about how your character should be and stay, if possible. Consistency is key, unless they go off the rails and begin to change.
The reason being is that especially in writing, you need the reader to sympathise with your character - good or bad - so every move is understandable and acceptable. The second your reader thinks: why would s/he do that? That's absolutely stupid! you've dragged your reader out of the story and most likely lost him or her.

I use my character's thoughts to get across their reasons for doing things, or I let them mutter, I let them call their friends and either rant or seek advice. I let them meet and judge each other.

For example. Celia is a very good friend to Emily, Tom witnesses it and really appreciates the trait of hers.

It's also good let them have a habit, like blowing a lock out of the face, biting fingernails, running fingers through the hair, rocking back and forth, wrinkling the forehead a specific way, make funny noises when nervous or excited. Those are all things that are noticed by others and makes the character more alive.
Let them interact differently with your other characters. You won't be the same with your boss as you would be with your best mate. Let them have a particular phrase they use and let others react to it.
Has the person a pet? A love for being colour co-ordinated, is the person a neat-freak or messy, there's so much to play around with. Just look at your friends and see how different they are, that's a great way to start with building real characteres that grab your hand and tow you with them through the book.

How to inject emotions without looking like a beginner

A friend of mine recently forwarded a rejection letter he received for one of his books. The agent's reason was that the book lacked emotions, something I've been telling him for a while, but he didn't want to listen, so he learned the hard way.

I told him to get a huge syringe of emotions and inject it into the writing and scenes where needed. His answer was that he then would have to use adverbs a lot and he didn't want that. This got me thinking. Do writer really think that using adverbs are the only way to showcase emotions? Personally, I don't use them a lot and still manage to bring emotions across. Here are a few examples of how to change lazy writing (adverbs) into a more skillful one:


Example 1: "I wonder if you would go out for dinner with me?" he asked shyly. 
"I wonder if you would go out for dinner with me?" he looked down.
"I wonder if you would go out for dinner with me?" he asked, playing with his car key.
He shuffled with his feet, then mumbled, "I wonder if you would go out for dinner with me?"
"I wonder if you would go out for dinner with me." Is he blushing? she thought, how cute!


Example 2: "Did you even listen?" she asked, angrily.
There was no point in hiding her anger. "Did you even listen?"
"Did you even listen?" her voice was full of anger.
"Did you even listen?" her question mirrored her anger.
"Did you even listen?" Wow, he thought, she really is angry.

Example 3: "Hey, it's not my fault," he replied, defensively.
"Hey, it's not my fault," he replied, holding up his hands (in defence).
He listened for a moment, then crossed his arms in front of his chest. "Hey, it's not my fault."
He shook his head and shrugged. "Hey, it's not my fault."

Of course those are just some examples. Emotions can be displayed by a lot of things. If a MC is sad, then they can cry, tears build up, spill over, shy people look down, away, shuffle their feet, hide their hands, bite their lips, play with something in their hands, stammer, etc. Angry people make fists, shake them, their voices change, their facial expression changes, their temples pulsate, etc.

I'm in no way saying adverbs done have a place in writing, and some just can't be replaced, but there are always ways around it. Each time when you are about to write one, try to play with the sentence and with the scene, you will be surprised how many you can actually swap for a much better description.

If you have some more examples, please feel free to add.