Wednesday, 6 February 2013

Being an Indie is exhausting

I need a break!
After almost four years of non-stop working, I'm fairly exhausted. Happy, but exhausted. Six published books, one other novel waiting to be rewritten and the one I'm working on right now, I think it's fair to say that I've worked my arse off, not only the writing and editing, but also the marketing, including special promotions, interviews, guest articles, not to forget updating own Blog, Twitter and Facebook. It's all work, but I love it. Nevertheless, it's quite draining, particularly when you see that the books are not taking off like you've wished for them. Don't get me wrong; I'm proud of all my books and grateful for the readers who either left reviews or contacted me in person to tell me how much they've enjoyed what they've read. I'm most thankful for those who continue to support me, nag me for the third book in the Branded series and humbled when people repeatedly say I'm talented. That's half the road to success, I think. I'm still experimenting with genres as I get bored easily and I believe it's the only way for me to grow: write in as many genres as possible. So far I've covered humour, paranormal romance, non-fiction, thriller and meta-fiction; loved each and every one of them. I'll work on sci-fiction and erotica next before I get some contemporary fiction and dystopian fiction on the way. I think that's basically all genres I'd like to cover. Oh, and clean chick lit. I'd like to try that, too. 
I'm also planning to turn the Branded series and the thriller into screen plays at some point. I have one idea which I'll probably write as a screen play, rather than a novel. It's got to do with football, that's all I can reveal.
As you can see, I'm still very much in love with what I'm doing, but am on some kind of a break. Well deserved if you ask me. It became increasingly difficult for me to relax, particularly while writing; panic took hold of me after the last two books that had me reeling on several occasions when I got stuck. The frustration is beyond belief. 
Then there were a lot of 'fights' going on behind the scenes, one of them being my 'stalker' as I call him, spreading lies about me, trying to ruin my reputation. I can only imagine how it is for a celebrity to read the lies printed about them. It's infuriating. One of the reasons I don't want fame. I'd like to have fortune, but could care less about fame. I don't think I'd handle it well, but then as an author, unless you write for YA, you should be fairly safe. Teens who'll scream their little lungs out every time you make an appearance, aren't for me to be honest. I hate screaming fans. I remember being at a Backstreet Boys concert (looooong time ago) and right behind me (left) was a girl who screamed the whole show. Well, she probably would have if I hadn't turned round to tell her to shut the fuck up, which she thankfully did. The guy next to me cracked up and wiggled his eyebrows at me. Never understood that phenomenon of screaming. I go to a show to enjoy the voices, not to hear my own. Never mind, that's a topic on its own.
I guess I won't be in danger of becoming world-famous any time soon. Lucky me. I'm slowly getting back into writing after a week off and am still hoping to make the 31st of March deadline. Brooding over the title, after the word plays of No Wings Attached and Candlelight Sinner I want to continue with it. All my titles are unique, so here's a challenge for me. Another part of being independent: you have to come up with everything by yourself. Personally, I love it and wouldn't want to have it any other way, but it's your responsibility. All I'd need now is the bestseller to be able to make bigger things happening. 
Oh, by the way: after that Blog disaster with my old Blog URL which is still on the top of Google when search for Stella Deleuze, my Blog with its new URL has finally made it to Google's first page. Yay me. I hope it's going to replace the old link soon. Blogger hasn't removed it yet, and I feel it's not going to happen; slow is an understatement when it comes to them acting on copyright breaches. If you are wondering what happened, here's the post I wrote about it.
Please keep your fingers crossed for me that 2013 will be the most successful year I've had so far. I'm successfully losing weight, but that's fodder for the next post.

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