Saturday, 2 February 2013

Oh my gosh! They came back for me!

Did that make you curious? Maybe you were having a little Schadenfreude moment; if that's the case you'll be bitterly disappointed to hear that I'm talking about the Backstreet Boys. Yes, that's right. Them guys who suddenly appeared out of nowhere back then in Germany, and took the world by storm. Deservedly so. I remember as if it were yesterday: I was at home, listening to MTV or VIVA, or any other music channel while cleaning, and suddenly they were on with the following song:

I dropped everything I had in my hands and danced along. After that I called my friend and told--no, urged-- her to watch out for this new band called the Backstreet Boys, a little out of breath from all the hopping along. I remember telling her that those guys are going to become massive and won't be a one-hit-wonder as they'd got the voices, the looks, the moves and the right beats. One can say many things about Lou Pearlman, but that man had a nose for talents. Seems we have that in common, because looking back now, I was dead right. They're celebrating their 20th anniversary this year, despite a few major rough patches with two band members battling the dark sides of success and one member taking a break before returning. I think there's a bit more to expect from them and I'm looking forward to it. You go ahead and giggle, but I think there's no age limit to music, if you like it, you like it. Simple as that.

So what's got that to do with them coming back for you, eh? Well, I don't know how they managed, but it seems that fate wanted them back in my life. Black & Blue, which was released in 2000, was the last album I bought. No idea why I didn't buy the next one, but my working in bars and excessive partying is probably the safest bet. I worked at night time and when the shift was over in the morning, my mates, who all worked in hospitality, headed over to our favourite club to dance our little arses off until 11am, and then to another bar for more partying. I often went home around 2 or 3pm for a few hours of sleep before I had to get back to work. I'm still amazed that I made it through that time alive. Although I never did any drugs, many litres of alcohol went down my throat. My favourite was wheatbeer with banana juice and, just to spark things up, a few shots of tequila. It was a fun time. Even though unhealthy. After a few years I was done with it. Had enough of living in a parallel world where you come home at noon, crawling on your nipples and getting strange looks. I wasn't twenty anymore and felt the need to get out of it.

A few years later, I moved to London where I went back to bar work and partying, and soon found myself being in the same cycle of drinking, for I hated the job, and getting to bed in the morning hours.My friends started to worry about me, because I drank far too much and too often. Almost daily, if I recall correctly. I knew that I'm not in danger of becoming an alcoholic, despite their worries; I just don't have this addictive nature. I quit smoking over night, because I didn't see any point in it any more. And I'd smoked for sixteen years, but I hated that my life just whooshed past me, so I decided to put an immediate stop to it.

In 2009, as many of you know, I wrote my first novel, No Wings Attached, and since then was hooked on writing while listening mainly to classical music. I drank less and less, with a few heavy binges in between, but no parties anymore. I only drink occasionally now, and that moderate. Unfortunately, depressions set in. Probably because I didn't continue to suppress them with alcohol. ADHD has the side effect of nasty lows following massive highs--almost like bi-polar--and since I refuse to take meds, I can be hit any time. 2011/2012 were terrible years for me, dominated by depressions, but 2013 somehow started with a lot of positivity. Recently, even though I have no clue why, I looked up Backstreet Boys, who've always made me smile. As expected, they didn't fail me. In fact, they blew me away with the albums Never Gone, This is Us and Unbreakable, the latter in particular. Absolutely amazing. I can't believe that I've missed it all beforehand, but better late than  never, right? They've grown up, not only as people (especially Nick Carter), but also their music, and they're still rocking. I'm sort of living a BSB revival and am smiling every day. It's helping me to stay positive and since I'm also on a self-imposed fitness regime (I've decided that I need to lose the pounds I've piled up due to depressions), it's a delight to march around the park while listening to their tunes. If I recall correctly, there's going to be a new album out this year, and I'm sure as hell getting it!

Thanks, guys, for helping me getting better.



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