Saturday, 15 February 2014

What's wrong with you people?

I'm ill--a strange combination of flu and cold, which had me sleeping, sneezing, coughing, and whinging all day yesterday and, although I think I still have a fever today, I felt much better and braved a cycling trip to Dalston. A mistake, by the looks of it, as I'm having shivers again. Just great. Being ill ain't all that nice, and I can't go for a ride, therefore I'm a foul mood. Originally, I'd planned to go on a short ride with one of the members of my cycling club, but it seems this guy is as reliable as leaf in the wind. He's now repeatedly promised to come on a ride with me, yet cancels time after time. I've now decided to not take him seriously anymore, no matter how hard he tries! It's not the only disappointment, to be honest. I'm fed up to here (imagine my hand going over my head) with people making promises they don't intent to keep. One person promised me I'd be the first to be called once there's a need for a mechanic, yet now I 'm learning I'm considered among others, and it's unlikely to be taken on. Another person promised me a job back in November, things went a bit wrong with that shop, they've now packed it in and I never heard of them again. I was told I can build wheels for another shop, that offer was never discussed after that. I recently went out for a coffee/beer, where we were talking about the opportunity to rent a container together, and that guy seriously made it sound like it was his idea when, in fact I approached him since I know the person who rents the containers. I've been sending updates about the funding for my business, yet I heard nothing. What's wrong with you people?
Admittedly, I may not be the easiest person to deal with as I'm passionate and I'll go for it when I want something badly enough. I may jump ahead of myself, but equally am able to rein myself in. And in the case of wheel building, I didn't show evidence of having a firm grip on the task -- for many reasons, but that doesn't mean I can't do it. At least talk to me about things. If you don't want me to do it, then say it and don't leave me hanging. All this non-communication is pissing me off. Royally!
And don't get me started on people who think my lack of experience as a mechanic means they can use me for free to their own advantage. Not going to happen, I'm afraid. It's my choice to help out, and that usually happens when I offer; expecting me to spend a few hours of my time without being paid is rather rude. So fuck off! I have to pay rent, too, you know?
Those, and many more incidents led me to the conclusion I'm way better off doing my own thing. I hate people who break their full-mouthed promises. If you can't be arsed to keep them, don't make them. Well, at least I know now where I stand and you watch out: payback time will come, and when you need me urgently, you may feel the repercussions of being such an arsehole to me in the past. Manners and common courtesy don't cost a thing!


  1. Hey Stella. Life is often like that. I seem to go through phases of only dealing with people who are all talk and no walk. You know what it is? Lots of people, it seems to me, are mistaking pointless people-pleasing for manners - lots of people, for reasons that mystify me, are simply afraid to say a plain and upfront no. Part of it's kidding themselves, I think. They want to enter into a project, kid themselves they can do it., and yet when it comes time to put up, they realise they can't, and yet are afraid to state that and put an end to their hopes. It sounds like I'm sympathetic to them, but I'm not: it's just plain annoying. I daydream and fantatsize about stuff I'm going to do like anybody else, but as soon as other people are involved I make the committment, or no, if I realise it's just a daydream. It's kind of Oriental, I think. I used to live in Turkey, and there were lots of people there who considered it to be rude to say no, and yet thought it was OK to lie, and say things would happen when they knew they were nevergoing to. It was everything from huge changes requested in working practices (at two places I worked) to a scenario like going into a restaurant: you ask do they have beer - they say yeah. They don't. What they do is send a kid around to a shop to buy some, causing sometimes a long delay. All they had to do was say no, we don't have beer, then you'd order something else. They were trying to please in this instance, but it was just really annoying! I wish people were just more plain-speaking (not rude, of course - I verge on rude, I'm often told, and am aware of it, and try to temper it). You Germans, in my experience, are quite direct. I like it. (Or is that a cliche? You know Germans better than me!)

    1. Hey, Niko. Thank you for your reply. Well, yes, I think Germans are more direct. I'm particularly direct which, like in your case, is often interpreted as being rude. Well, least I'm honest, but need to try harder to soften the blow or keep it shut if nobody asks for my opinion.
      But the making promises and not keeping them is what annoys me. If I say I'll call you tonight, I'll call you tonight. In case I forget, which rarely happens, I'll be so sheepish, I'll apologise several times. I hate letting people down or disappoint them.